Everyday life can be such a treasure at times. Just doing laundry and making the bed can feel so lovely. After being under so much stress (some of which is not gone) a day to clean up and put the place around me in order feels good. I have a spasm in my back that is hurting awfully and I'm using that as an excuse to just stay here and do what I want to do, not what I need to do. It feels good -- well the back spasm doesn't. The cat was annoying me this morning early, and just wanted someone to play with. I got up, opened up the window shades just a tad so he could see the front street and put a chair by the window. He is now a confirmed neightborhood watch cat. He watches everything. I think I just gave my cat a hobby. Hehehehehehe.

I have taken a risk this week by inviting a woman from work to come to group. She is multiple and has not been making good sense lately. She is clearly in need of support and realizes it. Yet, I feel she is funny and able to pull herself out of the slump that they are experiencing. She is multiple too and though I don't know much about her, I have intrusted a lot of confidential information about myself to her. I hope that Anna can still use the group as she has been and that it will work out. I rather like having another person to share the driving with. It's such a long drive now. I hope this isn't a strategic error.

I signed my contract for next year. I feel better knowing that I have the certainty of a job. In these uncertain times, that's a very good thing. IT's a great relief. My boss had taken the time to threaten me with non-renewal of contract a few months ago, so having a contract makes me feel a WHOLE lot better. I will get a step raise this year and that will help me out as I adjust to making payments for the condo.

So many are suffering from this war. I pray for peace.

What a month! It's just a whirlwind of activity and anxiety. Betty is home and actually perking up. Three weeks ago Sunday, I thought she was worm food. But she's recovered nicely and is doing well as can be expected now. She is high maintenance, but there are now four people to share the responsibility around with and it's easier. She DID get to move into her new house. She's satisfied with her location (the TV is placed where she can see it and she has plenty of junk food). Family (not me) are going through her place and cleaning out the crap and moving the good stuff. I'll probably have to have a month to do the trash stuff at my place. It's going to be pretty awesome of a job. But it needs to be done.

A lot of interior conflict that is probably related to all the situational stress going on presently. It's coming out through Anna. She's experiencing the majority of the conflict it seems, though I'm not sure why. If I could figure it out, I'd do anything I could to alleviate her problems.

So much to do here to get nested in. Anxiety is running high right now though because I'm afraid that I might not have my teaching contract renewed. It really worries me. I don't want to have to change jobs or look for another job again. I want to just settle in and stay put for another 10 or 15 years. I hope it works out. Lord knows, I hope it works out.

The war issues are on my mind. I feel it in my gut everytime I think of the sons and daughters who bleed red for black crude and perhaps to "liberate" the Iraqui people. The political issues are so clouded that it is hard to know if we are imposing our will on another culture and country in an Imperialist way or if we are genuinely liberating people from the pain and opression of a dictatorship that has been cruel and bloody.

I feel like my life is returning somewhat to normal now that I can journal again. Have entered the wonderful world of DSL. Don't know if I can afford it, but it's nice. I like it very much.

Pray for peace.