A dream when waking this morning: I was a woman froom the 1800s and had the manners and attire to go with it. The story was very vivid and had a lot of feeling. I was married but there wasn't a husband immediately around. Wherever he was he wasn't home and I wasn't expecting him anytime soon. He mght have been a military man away in service. In any case, I was having some kind of difficulty and was therefore requested to go see a psychiatrist. I went to see him. He was a distinguished fellow with a gotee and very proper. After we talked I felt ill and though he made an appointment for me to come the next day, I was uncertain later, that I'd be able to go, because I felt so poorly. But I did finally get myself together physically, and did go see him. I intended to ask, "Why did I have to come back so quickly; the very next day?" But when I got in to see him he put on his jacket and asked me if I'd be kind enough to walk with him while he did some errands.
We walked about talking small talk. Nothing that one would consider appropriate to seeing a psychiatrist. But I thought, "It's a lovely day out, I'm enjoying myself, and the insurance company is paying for this, so I'm just going to shut up and enjoy myself!" Anyway, we stopped somewhere and he went into a merchant's shop and came rather quickly out. The next place he went he had me wait outside for a long while, but when he came back to me, he had the most devine boquet of flowers I've ever seen. It was like two bouquets in one. One was small flower all close together. A bit like hydrangae except that the flowers and petals were smaller and even more abundant and tightly packed on the blossom. They were the most beautiful flower I'd ever seen. I noticed at one point when I was holding them that my hands disappeared under and into the blossoms of this plant. The other part of the bouquet was some sort of lovely lily, long and slender with a touch of pink and irredescent shimmer to them. He gave me the bouquet which I was so excited to receive because the flowers were so beautiful and I was flattered that he thought to buy me such special. We kept walking about a bit in this town and he'd do short errands, but there came a time that we we went to an outdoor cafe to have tea (how European) and while there he thought of one more errand we must do. I was thinking, "Your day, whatever." We went to a dress shop though, and he wanted me to try on adress. I thought that most ...improper....but he kept talking in this genteel way about how it was alright, and it put me somewhat at ease, but I still felt awkward. I went and tried on the dress. He went on and on about "IShe must have it!" And while I went back to the dressing room, he arranged that I should have it when I lfet the store. He came back to the dressing room area before I was ready to tell me something. I stepped backward into the shadows so he would not see me, since I didn't have my clotheses back on completely yet, but once again he assured me he wasn't interesteed in me and that he was afterall, a doctor. I timidly cam eout and he was talking to me about something and I had to retreat back into the dressing room and get dressed while he waited! Right there! I was most uncomfortable. He turned his back to give me privacy, and there was a curtain, but I felt like he could turn around and still see me. I stepped back into a niche and into the shadows and quickly got dressed. As I went to dress there were two pair of petti-pants (black) that were there as well as the pair I had come in. I could tell which pair I'd worn in, so I tried to put the two pair on and neither one was large enough to fit. When I got to the third pair I figured out that they were already on, but because I was so rattled by the psychiatrist being so closely present, I hadn't noticed that I already had a pair on that fit.
He wanted to escort me home. For whatever reason I let him and was relieved when he left. I had a daughter that was glad to see me when I came home. It was about 6 or 7 in the evening and we were going over to some neighbor's home for a party. My daughter and I walked up to this home up the hill. It was very grand and very lavish in its decorations. There was a woman there who was a most enthusiastic and getting me to mingle and have a good time at the party. As I was mingling with the others at the party and thinking about going home, I saw to my horror that the psychiatrist was THERE! I couldn't believe it and tried to escape him and hide in the crowd. He followed me though and I finally looked up once and he was just there. I had to be polite I felt like. He wanted me to go with him to someplace after the party. I told him I was tired, however. I gave my duaghter instructions to leave the party at 7 and come home. She agreed, and then I went home to rest. However, after I left the party I realized he was following me. It creeped me out. I rushed home and prayed I got there before him. I felt safer at home but was still scared. He knocked at the door. I only talked to him through the door. He told em I'd dropped my boquet and he was only returning it. They were such beautiful flowers that I wanted them. It confused me though because I thought they were in the house. I opened the door hesitantly and he did have the flowers and so I took them. They were such a lovely bouquet. He wanted me to let him in, but I wouldn't let him.
A bit later when I'd changed into my dressing gown someone knocked and I was frighted it was him again. I opened the door cautiously and he had my daughter and said he wanted to escort her home to ensure her safety. I was horrified that he had my daughter with him. He said that it was alright, he'd just escorted her home, and she came in and told me all the things that she did and was so excited from coming from the party that she didn't see I was distressed. I let her talk to me to help figure out if anything weird had happened on the walk back. I was beginning to feel "stalked." She seemed fine, and so I told her to get ready for bed.
I was worried about this strange psychiatrist that stalked his patienet I had to go somewhere the next day and it was to some sort of comittee of people. When there I arranged with a friend, secretly, that if I ever called her and told her, "Ann is doing well, but you must see her manuscript," that she would come immediately to my house. Her name was Ann too and so in my mind, I was going, "Ann you got a call from Ann and she said, "see above." It sounded funny to me that my name was Ann and her name was Ann and that she'd get a phone call from another Ann. But anyway, I recall setting up those "safe words" so that if she ever got that as a phone message or I spoke those words to her, she'd come rescue me. I felt frightened by this new stranger that kept intruding on my life at unexpected times and unexpected ways. It didn't seem odd to me to be seeing a psyciatrist....no different than deciding I had to go to the tap for water. Just something usual. Seeing this one, however, became frightening when he started flowwoing me about and buyg me presents (the flowers).
Heflirted wit me at one pi, and I jst made a poit of teling him I was marred. He said that didn't matter to him if it didn't matter to me. I was shocked at this viewpoint. The dream ends here because the alarm went off. I must in real life hsower and get to work. Disturbing dream with uncertain meanings presently. I've had one other dream of myself a long time ago in Victorian times and dress, but it was quite different and much more serene. This was a disturbing dream. I have to get up now. That's about all I can remember anyway.
Most unsettling.
